Few weeks ago, a survey surfaced, listing countries with most
unfaithful wives in the world. To the chagrin of Nigerian women, the survey
conducted by condom manufacturer, Durex, had them topping the list and beating
35 other countries, including Western countries, sampled in the marital
infidelity test. Continue..
Controversy has since continued to trail that judgement, with
Nigerian women crying foul. This outcry is understandable though, as these are
women popularly reputed for their solemn reverence for religion, more than their counterparts in any part of
the world.
“We have more Nigerian women that are faithful to their
marriages than other nations. Ours can be attributed to various factors like
religion, which has become the standard for most of us, and then tradition.
“Despite our exposure and enlightenment, a typical Nigerian woman still holds firm to the dictates of
tradition, either of her background or that of her husband’s. That aside, our
men are even too egocentric to allow their wives that liberty. A man can kill
any woman suspected of infidelity, whether true or not. It’s seen as a slap on
the man’s face and not an emotional slip,” Rosemary Duamlong, an entrepreneur and mother of two argued firmly in
defence of Nigerian women when presented with the outcome of Durex’s survey.
The survey claims that regardless of marital status, sexual
orientation, or a committed relationship, Nigerian women still in the real
sense tend to be unfaithful, giving a 62% prevalence of unfaithfulness, with
Thailand following.
Admitting though that some women could be extremely unfaithful,
some male folks debunked the percentage put forward by the survey.
“I have been married for 20 years and my wife has not cheated on
me. In every way, she has been very faithful even despite my unfaithfulness,” a
middle-aged Nigerian who simply identified himself as Monye said.
Another man said of his wife: “While we were still dating, I could say she kept other men, but as soon
as she became certain that I was serious about her, she personally dropped them
and has since then been more than faithful to me.”
Nigeria is not a society where adultery is treated with
impunity, unlike places like Britain where married couples jointly patronize
so-called ‘Elite Sex Clubs’ where they have sex with other men and women. Here,
family values are cherished and women who cheat do so mostly in secret. Hence,
it remains a puzzle how the country managed to top the list of unfaithful
wives.
“Nigerian women are generally family-centred and conscious of
society approval. Only a few would therefore risk rubbishing the integrity of
their families, especially that of their children, for a moment of pleasure.
Our society is yet to liberate women to the level of equal rights with men.
Thus, no Nigerian woman will be applauded for cheating on her husband socially.
To this end, the stigma it attracts is a deterrent. Besides, what a man can do
and get away with in Nigeria, a woman cannot try it and get away and this
includes being unfaithful in marriage,” said a lady who’s been married for nine
years.
“We’ve had instances where women commit adultery with no sense
of secrecy but the percentage cannot be said to be as high as claimed by
Durex’s survey. We’ve also had women getting pregnant for other men in their
husband’s house but yet, the percentage is minute, compared to what obtains in
other countries.
If Durex’s claims were true, why do most Nigerian men in
diaspora come back home to Nigeria to
pick a wife? If you ask them, they will tell you our women are more faithful in
marriage than their counterparts abroad. They have lived both in Nigeria and
abroad but still prefer our women.
Funny enough, foreigners are not exempted in this search for
Nigerian wives. Just last year, a friend’s daughter had an Italian coming to
seek her hand in marriage. They both met in Italy but this young man in his
early thirties came down here with this girl to marry her traditionally and
legally. I learned the man had vowed not to marry from his country because of
the high rate of infidelity amongst their women,” argued another woman in her
fifties.
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