Why spend so much for a burial?

Chude is planning a trip to the village this Yuletide season. He has yet to figure out where to get the N1m he calculates he needs to travel with. He arrived at that figure after spending time consulting with family members in Abuja and in the village. The bulk of it will be spent as part of his contribution towards the burial of a senior member of his extended family. As the shining light of the family, he has little choice but to take responsibility even though the person who died wasn’t a direct relative. Continue..

Amongst the items he needs to spend money on are ‘asoebi,’ cow, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, transport, food etc. Any attempt to strike out any amount on that list will amount to a huge embarrassment to himself and his extended family. He has to perform even if it means borrowing from the bank.

Chude’s experience is not peculiar to him. A recent survey suggests that the biggest risk to household incomein Nigeria is illness or the death of a relative. This of course is because Nigerians spend a fortune on ceremonies especially burial ceremonies. So much fanfare and tradition are attached to it that makes me wonder if we really need to spend all that money. Is there a better way of burying our loved ones in a dignifying manner? Should the need to fulfil traditional rites always mean we must spend all our savings and even borrow just to comply? I personally believe that should not be the case as whatever situation you find yourself in financially should influence how much you should spend. Here are a few suggestions to spend reasonably;

Budget

The first amount you spend on burials is typical mortuary cost. So more often than not it is not budgeted for. However, every other thing you have to do should be included in a well prepared budget. I know budgets are boring and most don’t adhere to it. But think of it as a reality check and guide and you appreciate how useful it can be. A budget is typically the first place to show signs that you might not be able to afford an elaborate burial ceremony.

Borrowing

I do understand that a need to bury a loved one may occur at a time of the month or year where cash flow is usually low. This could lead to a need to borrow some money from family or friends just to fund burial expenses. However, what we shouldn’t do is borrowing an amount that we obviously cannot repay during the promised payback period. Why ask for a loan of N1m to bury a loved one when your monthly income is just N200, 000? Another thing to avoid is borrowing from banks to finance a burial ceremony. The interest rate element of such borrowing just makes it a disincentive for me and should be avoided at all cost.

Selling an asset

I have also heard of some people who would, rather than not giving a befitting burial to a relative, sell a valuable asset such as gold, cars or even a house just to fund a burial. I do not have issues with that provided you don’t go broke immediately afterwards. Sometimes, you wonder why that gesture can’t be extended to the dead relative when they were alive. I feel the tough question to ask yourself in that situation should be, would I sell this asset and give the cash to my relative if he or she were to be alive? If the answer is no, then I do not think selling your asset makes sense. But then, it just my opinion.

‘Aso-ebi’

This has become a very significant part of ceremonies across Nigeria. Be it a wedding party, graduation, burial etc. people spend thousands of naira buying dresses in solidarity with a friend or a loved one who is grieving or celebrating. I also do not have any issues with this provided it is not compulsory. I have heard that some people use it as a way to help cover ceremony expenses. If that is the case, and your friends and family are happy to spend money on asoebi on your behalf, then the better for you.

Insurance

The insurance industry in Nigeria is coming of age and regularly introduces various insurance products. One those I have heard of is insurance for burial expenses. I think it is a nice product to buy, if available, as death is as sure as anything else that could happen in life. In exchange for a premium you get a huge chunk of money to cater for burial expenses when they do occur.

Entertainment

This is perhaps the aspect of burial expenses that takes up most of the cash. There are some burials you attend that make you wonder if you are in a party. I believe the amount you spend on entertainment depends on how solemn or grandeur you want the burial ceremony to be. If you have the cash and want a lavish ceremony for a loved one, then go ahead. However, if you do not have the cash, there is no point trying to please anyone because what you end up doing is creating another problem for yourself.