Sunday, 7 September 2014

I still go to the library — 84-yr-old ex-civil servant

A former Assistant Director, Finance and Supply, Federal Civil Service Commission, Mr. Emmanuel Osibona,, talks about his life
when were you born?
I was born on July 16, 1930.I am 84 years old and I’m from Ikene Remo in Ogun State.
When and where did you school?
I started schooling at St. Saviour’s School, Ikene in 1941. I left primary school in 1947 and worked as a pupil teacher for a year in my school before proceeding to Remo Secondary School at Sagamu. I finished secondary school in 1953. I was to enter as a first year student but the principal said those who made the top three positions in the common entrance examination would get double promotion. Luckily for me, I was among the top three. I was promoted to Class Two. Continue..

How was growing up like?
My father was an enlightened farmer. He had large farms of kolanut and cocoa. He employed labourers on his farm; he wasn’t involved in the manual work. My mother was a big trader in adire which was in vogue back then. She would travel to Abeokuta to make her own designs. These designs would be produced in large quantities and then she would sell to other traders. Those who were new in the business used to come to her for training and even to buy products on credit. Not many people could afford the capital used to start the business. Aside Abeokuta, my mother would also travel as far as Sagamu, Ogere, Iperu on foot because there were no vehicles then. We usually joined her on such trips during the holidays.
Are you an only child?
No, I’m the last child, but I have four brothers. We are five in number.
Are they all alive?
No. Only two of us are alive. The other three are dead.
What activities did you enjoy doing while growing up?
In our days, there weren’t many activities, but when I was in Ijebu-Ode in the 50s, my friends and I started a dance class. It was a lawyer from the United Kingdom who motivated us to start one. He felt Ijebu-Ode was too boring; he then assembled young pupils. Everyday around 4 and 5pm we would gather to dance. The style back then was called rumba. Highlife was also common then. Sometimes, we were invited to perform at occasions. I was also a member of the library society. My friends and I would borrow books to read. My decision to travel to London was triggered during this period.
What did you do after completing secondary school?
I was given an appointment in the Western Region. The late Chief Obafemi Awolowo was the Premier then. I was employed as a Third Class clerk. About 48 of us were employed at the same time and we were posted to different areas of the region; some to Abeokuta, Ondo, Ijebu and so on. I was posted to Ijebu with four others. Some of my colleagues didn’t want to go to Ijebu because they feared they would be killed. Hence,it was decreed that those who were from Ijebu should be posted to Ijebu. It was from there that I left for the United Kingdom.
Did you sponsor your trip to the UK?
Yes, I sponsored myself with the little money I was able to save while I was working. Back then, if one didn’t have any sponsor in the UK, one would have to work and study at the same time which was what I did until I gained scholarship at City of London County Council. They offered to pay for my fees at the school now known as South West London College of Commerce, where I studied Accountancy. I was there until 1965 when I finished my professional exam, the Chartered Institute of Secretary. I came back to Nigeria in 1969.
Did you travel to the UK by air?
No, I had to go by sea because flying then was too expensive. The ticket for the ship cost about 87 pounds 10 shillings. The journey took us two weeks. Then, we didn’t need a visa to travel to the UK.We spent two weeks on water and it was a memorable experience. My friends and I didn’t want to leave the ship when we arrived inthe UK. It was lavishly decorated; we had shopping centres in it.Back then, the British government treated us well. Immediately we landed in the UK, they took our luggage to our apartments and if we needed anything, they were ready to help free of charge.
What did you do when you returned from the UK?
When I got back from London, I secured a job as a Secretary at Marine and General Assurance in Balogun, Lagos. I later moved to the civil service. My first employment was at the Federal Civil Service Commission and I was posted to the Ministry of Finance. From there, I was posted to the Ministry of Trade. At that time, Ministries of Trade and Industry were one body. After some time,I was posted to the Ministry of Industry. From there I was posted back to Ministry of Finance. It didn’t end there; I was later posted to the Ministry of Justice. I was there for two years before I was moved back to the Federal Civil Service Commission where I retired as Assistant Director, Finance and Supply. I retired in 1993.
At 84, will you describe yourself as fulfilled?
Yes, I am definitely fulfilled because when I see my colleagues and their state of health, I’m grateful to God. Some of us who travelled together to London are no more. Being alive and healthy is something to thank God for. I can walk without a stick and my eyesight is good.
You look strong and healthy, do you have a special food?
I avoid eating junk food. As one ages, one should avoid this type of food. I consume a lot of vegetables. Even eating eba at my age is trouble. Food such as eko, ogi, (pap) and little rice with vegetables are a much better diet for the aged. Consuming pounded yam, eba, meat, milk isn’t wrong but they should be eaten in little quantities. I avoid fried food too.
What is your favourite food?
It is pounded yam with plenty vegetable soup.
Do you exercise?
Yes I enjoy taking walks especially when I’m abroad. After that I go to the library. When I’m in Nigeria, I rarely take my car to certain places, I prefer to walk. Walking is a hobby for me.
What is your favourite drink?
It used to be soda drinks, but now I rarely drink soda, I prefer to take water. Of late,the percentage of people who are diabetic has increased, which is because we are consuming more canned drinks.
Do you still keep friends?
Yes I have many friends and we visit ourselves regularly. We usually organise special meetings during the year when we meet as a group. I enjoy those meetings.
You mentioned that people no longer want to work but want quick money, what advice do you have for them?
If one loves money to a fault, one will be tempted to do things they one doesn’t want to do. It is in this generation we see things like kidnap and rituals. It is the love of money that has triggered these evil acts. In our days, there was nothing of such, people were content, but now, things have changed. It is better to get money the right way, not by making people unhappy. Money gotten through evil ways won’t last.
What do you usually do before going to bed?
I start my day with prayer and end it with prayer. I beg God to be with me throughout the night.
When did you get married?
I got married in 1960 before I travelled to London.
How did you meet her?
We met during one of my trips to Ikene. I went there to visit some friends at my former school, St. Saviours School. While I was being taken on a tour round the school, I met my wife. She was a teacher in the school. Immediately I saw her, I fell in love with her.
What attracted you in her?
She had a beautiful smile and she was a jovial person. Throughout our discussion, she kept laughing. I felt she would definitely make a happy home. Later on, my uncle took me to her house and that was how our relationship started.
How long was your courtship?
We courted for three years. We got married in 1960 just before I travelled to London. At the time, she had just gained admission into a Teacher’s College which was Higher Elementary Teacher’s Training College. When I was going to London, I decided to marry her to give her an assurance that I was committed to her.Getting married was quite easy for us because at that time I was in the Ministry of Local Government at Ijebu Ode and my office was where legal marriages were held.We did the wedding without telling our parents.
Why did you do that?
Back then, it wasn’t easy telling your parents about your plans for marriage. One had to plan it very well and we also felt they might be against our relationship, so we decided to do it without informing them.
Did you take her along with you to the UK?
No, I did not. She later joined me in London in 1963. We had our first child in 1964. We have five children, three boys andtwo girls.
When did you return to Nigeria?
I came back in 1969 but I left her behind so I could sort out employment and accommodation before her arrival. She came much later.
Where are your children now?
Two of my children are in Lagos and the remaining three are in London.
Is your wife still alive?
No. She died in 2005.
You were married for a long time, what kept your marriage strong?
Our marriage was built on trust. Anything you build on trust will last. If couples don’t doubt themselves, their marriage will be strong. If a woman believes and trusts her husband, and vice versa, there will be peace in that home.I loved her and she loved me too.
Did you remarry after her death?
No, I didn’t feel comfortable remarrying; no other woman could have taken her place. She was unique and special. Moreover, women nowadays are looking for surulere, (made men) no one wants to wait. My wife and I struggled together until we made it. When we were together, we didn’t lack anything, so our unity was built on our strong bonds.It was when she died that I realised that death could come anytime.
How did she die?
Prior to her death, she was slightly ill and she travelled to London for treatment. On the day she died, she went to church and came back home around 6pm. I even questioned her lateness and she said the preaching was wonderful and she got carried away. Before she left the church, she greeted almost everyone and when we announced her death, people rushed to our house because they couldn’t believe that someone they saw some hours earlier had died.When she was about to die, we were in the parlour eating, she then asked a relative to play one of Bishop David Oyedepo’s tapes. I then went upstairs to do something,all of a sudden one of my relatives who was sitting with her ran upstairs to call me, she kept shouting that something had happened to my wife. When I got to where she was seated, I tapped her and told her to stop playing games. But she just laid there lifeless. It wasn’t until our family doctor came and confirmed that she was gone then I believed. She died at the age of 65 years.
What do you miss about her?
I miss everything about her. She was such a caring wife. She took good care of me; she handled almost everything in the house. When I had something disturbing my mind, I would discuss it with her, but now, I have no one to talk with. With her around, I was very happy. When she advised me, I knew it was the right thing. It isn’t easy to get someone like her, people questioned my decision not to remarry but I didn’tmind, I stood my ground.
With your experience, how can couples stay happily married?
They should have faith in God and be faithful to each other. They should avoid involving a third party in whatever they do. When problem arises, they should sort it out themselves and they shouldn’t keep malice. Marriage is a two-way traffic. It is give and take, husbands shouldn’t think they know all and wives shouldn’t fail to submit to their husbands even when they don’t feel like. That way, they will win the heart of their husbands. What defines one’s fate is not what people say about you but what you say about yourself. Sometimes people curse themselves with their tongues.
What challenges did you encounter in your marriage?
The challenges we encountered were what other couples encountered – interference from family members. Some family members want to exercise control in your home. Some of them even go to the extent of telling the wife not to submit to her husband. But when couples regard themselves as one, they will triumph over issues.

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